No. 4

dear jesus,

last week i sought you in the early morning - what

is that you said about willingness and weakness

i used to see weakness as a stain similar to

that 'damned spot' -- something i could never

remove no matter how much money i

made or the demons i put to rest.

is the human ever not weak? certainly,

there are moments of greatness

the athlete and her title. the artist and his

ribbon, but in-between there is so much

tripping, falling, doubting, wishing, elation

and then

what is your perspective on death? is it the

culmination of weakness, or a reward for strength

so many run towards that crossroad with

seeds unsown, what is that to you? what should

it mean to me? maybe questions for another

letter. 5:00 a.m. reveals me and leaves me

grateful for weakness? yes that is a question

there seems to be a difference between

weakness and belligerence -- though the latter

could very well be enveloped in the former

we are not saved in defiance, but maybe

we are saved in our weakness

so, why am i grateful for weakness?

why is the calf grateful for milk?

why is the apprentice grateful for the master?

this fog is lifting now. thank you, for the milk.

always,

sparrow